How Couldn't I?
by breeze3
Summary: CHAP.6 UP PREVIEW: “Will you be there?” His lips lightly brushed against her again. She smiled into his kiss as he pulled away. His swollen lips moist, there breathing rapid. rn“I’ll be there at six.” She turned in the darkness towards the door.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: ::I OWN EVERYTHING!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAH!!! I AM RICH!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!:: Wakes up... oh hey a penny... cool!!! (In other words I own nothing!!)

Warning: A few harsh words.... Like three!! So nothing to bad!!!

A/N: Well hmm... lets talk about my day yesterday shall we...So there I was... on the Hollywood 101... trapped in an endless row of traffic... by the way thanks to the jack ass who decided tailgating was the way to go causing an accident!!! YOU SUCK!!! But any ways... while sitting in this traffic at some random time during the day.... I had time to think... about what.... A new story of course silly's!!!! So here it is!!! Please Review... I know you are like.... Reviewing sucks... but just a simple... Good or Great or Boo or Ew is fine with me!!! Remember the traffic!!!

For those reading my other stories... "Each Other" will be updated on Wednesday I'm on the last few paragraphs...and the last part of Time should be up by next week!! Thanks for all the reviews guys!!! You all have been so wonderful I swear!!! I worship you all!!! Now I'm done rambling so here we go.... On with the show!!!

**How Couldn't I?**

_"Oh you're a beautiful_

_A beautiful fucked up man_

_You're setting up your razor wire shrine"- Sarah Mclahlan's Building a Mystery_

"Walk away... please." His voice was small. Uncharacteristic for him, his voice was one of his biggest intimidators. He didn't take his pale eyes off her. She had never seemed so determined. Determined to figure him out. It was useless this much he knew, the trouble was having HER understand that somewhat simple concept. One that seemed to haunt her in a way and somehow himself.

He had never meant for this to happen. Never wanted her to give him a second though. In fact he had never given a damn what the golden trio did. He somewhat still didn't. Didn't care about her. 'You wish.' His mind echoed the simple statement. I was the truth. Sheer honesty for an un-honest man. A very rare thing indeed. Something he wouldn't let her see, it would only bring her pain or worse.

"Why? What is wrong with you?" Her voice was so swamped with frustration. He couldn't blame her. He really couldn't, everything was his fault. Everything. He toward over her. When it came to physical size he had the upper hand, but when it came to being a person, she was several milestones ahead. Maybe that's why. The reason her didn't truly think so ill of her. The reason he couldn't hate her like he was breed to.

She was better then him.

She knew how to love. She knew how to hate. She understood the importance of compassion and trust. She was a wonderful soul. Warm and caring. Things his brilliant mind could never grasp. He didn't understand the value of life and death. How could he? When someone he knew died, he felt nothing. He didn't miss the person because he was close to no one. Nothing. He was simply put a loner.

Unattached from anything and everything in the world.

Well almost everything.

"It's easier that way and you know it Granger." She practically screamed at him. She said something but the words were obscure. He held back a smirk, she was funny when she was mad. Her actions so strange. He had never felt the urge to scream out of anger.

"You know what Malfoy, I get it. I finally get it. You are just this bloody body that walks around feeling nothing." He smirked, 'Well yeah.' He though. He was about to say something but realized she was pacing. She was rambling angrily. "You, you, don't know anything. You don't care about anything. You're just this big blob of pureblood high and mighty la la la I am so perfect and that's all. That's all you are." She stopped pacing for a moment and looked at him. His smirk fading slightly. Her eye squinted at him darkly. "God Draco are you even alive?"

The question shook him for some reason. Why it had? He would never know. The answer was obvious. Of course he was alive. He was breathing. His blood was flowing. But he knew she had meant something else. Something more.

"What?" His voice was once again small. Like someone else had asked the question somehow. She took a step closer to him. Her eyes were so full of emotions.

"You don't feel anything. Emotions are what make us real Malfoy." She glanced around the darkened hallway. Small torches illuminating the stone walls lightly. She took another step as she glanced around. When had she become a person to talk to? About the same time he realized she was the only person in this damn school that matched his intelligence. Even now after almost two years of conversations in studies about classes or just random things in general. And two months of head boy and girl duties, she still seemed uncomfortable at times. Nervous around him. More now then ever he realized. "Emotions are what make things matter."

"And if nothing matters Granger?" He took a step towards her. He was never to be outdone of course.

"Something must." She stood in front of him. Having to slightly tilt her head to make eye contact.

"Like what." And for the second time in his life, she slapped him. This time was different though. Immediately afterwards, within a split second, he had grabbed her wrist harshly. He yanked her up to her tiptoes as she let out a small yelp. His eyes burned into her and his face was close to hers. Her eyes full of defiance but, ultimately giving away to her fear of him.

"Like that. Did that matter?" She spat her words at him. He tightened his grip on her small wrist. She made not attempts to move away from him. "Someone you trust, someone you talk to just slapped you in the face." Her words were harsh and cold.

"And?" His voice growled at her. Daring her to continue. She swallowed a gulp of air. Her eyes pushing into his own.

"Betrayal, anger, hate. That's what's your feeling." He tightened his grip once more. "But there are other things Malfoy. Like compassion and fear." Her words softened. Her eyes lightened.

"And how do I get that from being slapped in the face Granger?" She searched her mind and looked away. He yanked her again. "Look at me." He demanded. When her eyes finally traveled to his, there was something there he had never seen before in his life.

Desperation.

She slowly leaned up. Her face so close. Her eyes stabbing daggers into his. She tilted her head slightly more and rubbed her nose against his own. He could feel his heart pounding. His body wanting. He noticed her unconsciously lick her lips.

"What do you feel." Her voice was tiny but still firm. He looked at her. "Do you fell anything at this moment?" She lightly touched his stomach with her free hand. The other still trapped. His mind raced. Of course he felt something. He could barely breath he was so afraid. So unsure and sure at the same time. So mixed up. Mostly, entranced by the brave and beautiful small women just hovering centimeters out of reach.

"How couldn't I?" his voice was tough. Never in his life did he think Hermione Granger could effect him like this. He felt like he would incinerate if he didn't kiss her. But he was afraid. Afraid for his life if he did.

"Like what?" She slowly brushed her lips against his. Like a single raindrop hitting the desert ground. Teasing. "What did that make you feel." He trembled slightly.

"Want. Need. Caring." He said the words slowly. Honesty again. What a strange night.

"Good." And with that she kissed him again. So slow at first. So innocent. Driving him crazy. Then she deepened the kiss. Letting his mouth dominate her own. Giving him control. He released her wrist and put both arms around her small waist pulling her close. Her hands grabbing the back of his neck and rubbing along his shoulders. She let out a soft moan and he pulled her closer. Indulging in her, tasting her. She tried to pull away.

"No." He growled into her mouth not letting her escape. He advanced only more. She let out another soft moan and relaxed into him. Letting him win once more. Finally he pulled away. Wishing air was not a factor in the mechanics of kissing. He looked down at her. Her lips swollen and crimson. Her eyes dancing. After a few moments of catching their breath she smiled up at him. He slightly returned. It feeling unnatural to smile. She then lightly touched her lips to his again and turned on her heel. He didn't try to stop her from leaving. She turned half way down the hallway and smirked.

"You're a fast learner Malfoy." He returned the smirk and she left him. Alone. To think about everything that had just occurred. After a few moments her turned in the opposite direction she had just left. Not looking back he sighed.

"I knew it would have been easier for her to just walk away." He said it allowed to himself. Something had change. "Damn it. I fucking hate being right." And with that he headed for bed. To think of the girl. The challenge.

The one with the eyes that made him feel alive.

A/N: Alright I hope you all liked it very much!!!! Please review as always!!!! They really do make me happy.... I love them like Napoleon Dynamite loves tatter tots, GOSH!!!! HEHE!!! PLEASE REVIEW!!!


	2. Chapter Two

Disclaimer: ::I OWN EVERYTHING!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAH!!! I AM RICH!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!:: Wakes up... oh hey a penny... cool!!! (In other words I own nothing!!)

A/N: Okay so here is chapter two...... I hope you guys like it... I have a lot of ideas for this story.... Basically think... awww I don't know... I leave it a mystery... I can't explain the whole story you gotta read the chapters!!! Muahahah...!!! PLEASE REVIEW!!!! Thanks guys!!!

**How Couldn't I?**

**Chapter Two**

She hadn't been able to sleep. She had tossed and turned all night long. Her mind racing, and her thoughts twisting around in her overworked brain. She had avoided thinking about him all day. Kept her back turned away from him. Her eyes focused on the lesson. Her attention turned to her friends. It had worked out pretty well but, now lying in the dark with nothing to think about, she couldn't take her mind off him.

How vulnerable he had seemed. How honest he had been with her in those few moments. Those few moments when something over came her senses. Something stronger the reason. Something she was sure she couldn't learn about in a book. But, she had felt it, whatever that something happened to be, and she knew he had to.

"Damn." She pounded the mattress with her fist. She sat up. Sleep was useless and it was only frustrating her more. She looked around the darkened room at the other sleeping girls. She wished she could tell her friends about him but she wasn't even sure what he was. And she was in no mood for, 'Good job Hermione he is sooo hot.' She loved her friends, she really did, but they were sixteen-year-old girls. As for Harry and Ron, yeah right.

Grabbing her robe she walked quietly out of the room. She needed some air, to clear her mind and think. Sure walking around the school after curfew was frowned upon but most of the teachers understood insomnia. It wasn't uncommon to find a few students here and there unable to sleep or studying in the library. The place she spent most of her after hours. But not tonight. Tonight she knew where she walking to. She had to talk to him. After a few minutes of twisting corridors and stone walls she reached the place they had meet the night before. Somehow by chance they had run into each other but tonight would be no accident. If he would actually come or if her stressed mind was only playing with her.

She stood there a few moments. Tapping her foot on the cold floor. She was being ridiculous, this much she knew. He wouldn't show up. He probably thought she had temporarily gone insane the night before. Figured it was a one-time thing. It was Draco Malfoy for Gods sake. The player, the jerk, the pureblood who would rather die then be seen with a "Mudblood." But then again she couldn't be so sure. Over the last two years they had had almost a dozen civilized conversations. Not much but for them it was like, well it was above and beyond what she ever thought possible.

With all these thoughts dancing about her mind she failed to her to here the footsteps behind her. The boy with silver hair staring down the petit girl obviously in a trance on thought. He reached her and stood there for a moment. With her back to him he was free to look her up and down without a glare. He wasn't sure whether to kill her or kiss her. He had a feeling this was going to become the normal balance of there relationship. After a few moments he decided to play fair. Well as fair as he could be. He bent down and place his mouth centimeters from her ear.

"Granger, breaking curfew tisk tisk." His voice was full of sarcasm but she still jumper. Her concentration broken by him. She turned her head quickly and faced him. Her face temporarily flushed. It faded though when she saw the traditional smirk on his face.

"I can say the same for you Malfoy." Her eyes squinted at him. She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow.

"Yes but only one of us is wearing are pajamas." She self-consciously looked down at her looked at her flannel pants and small white T-shirt.

"Shut up Malfoy." She snapped at him as she pulled her robe tighter around her frame. He began to walk around her. Circling her like she was his pray or something.

"Oh I can think of other ways to describe what I'm thinking." When he finally stopped and faced her she smiled at him sweetly.

"Do it and die." It was his turn to raise and eyebrow.

"Oh really?" She nodded. Weakly he noticed. "Well I hope you know I fear nothing. Not even death." She let out a laugh.

"Liar, I seen you scared plenty of times."

"When." He said it like a small child getting blamed for misbehaving.

"Last night first of all." The moment she said it she caught her mistake. She had walked right into it.

"Last night, last night. God what was last night again." She was looking down at the ground. Her eyes hidden from him. He took a step forward and reached out lifting her chin up to face him. Before she could move he bent down and captured her lips. He put his hands around her neck, lightly pulling her into a deeper kiss. Still it was gentler then the night before. Simpler. Sweeter. He pulled away this time. "Oh yeah. I remember now." He said in a whisper.

"What, why? Why did you do that?" Her voice was small. She was short of breath.

"How couldn't I Granger? You said I was a fast learner." He smirked.

"And?" She was confused by his statement. For the second time that night he bent down putting his lips next to her ear.

"And I'm an overachiever in everything I do." He kissed her neck and before she knew it he was gone. Leaving her alone in the hallway.

A/N: Okay... well I hope you guys liked it. Kinda short... sorry but hey here is where I justify my reason for you guys to review.... Ready... okay... Please review for it is one of the few joys in my life. That and snow and I live in California, you do the math!!! LOL SO PLEASE REVIEW!!!!


	3. Chapter Three

Disclaimer: ::I OWN EVERYTHING!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAH!!! I AM RICH!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!:: Wakes up... oh hey a penny... cool!!! (In other words I own nothing!!)

A/N: Alright well I know what all my reviewers are saying.... What in the Sam hell is going on? What are you thinking you crazy author... blahhhhh!!! Okay okay calm down now lil reader... Don't be afraid Breeze3 will reveal all in good time. Remember before all this kissing stuff happened they didn't hate each other but also didn't like each other that much. That is important. And in the mean time remember... fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to the Dark Side!! Or so Yoda say's. Yeah I'm excited cause Star Wars is coming out on DVD tomorrow!!! (Disclaimer: Star Wars belongs to George Lucas lol) Sorry its all I can think about... that and this chapter!!! So on with the show!!!

**How Couldn't I?**

Hermione Granger was a girl of many unusual habits. This much Draco Malfoy knew and at this moment he knew he was witnessing one. Her head stuck in a rather large book and her mind in another world. Predictable, yet still original to her unique personality.

He hadn't talked to her in almost two weeks. In fact he had barley seen her in two weeks. She had avoided him completely catching her staring at him once. She in short, was ignoring him. And it was driving him crazy. He had wandered back to the same corridor almost every night knowing very well she wouldn't be there. Had though about her and what she had shown him in those two nights.

She had given him a glance into the world of living.

So what was it about her. He wasn't exactly sure what it was but he knew that she made him go from zero to a hundred in about five seconds. This also drove him crazy. Maybe it was the fact that she royally fuck up his emotional equilibrium.

He, unlike most, enjoyed not feeling anything. He enjoyed be cold and cut off from others. Emotion was something he had neither the patients nor the time for. It was actually a burden in his world. A world that most assumed, and assumed correctly. He was no angel, in fact he was the opposite. With a soul that was born into darkness and evil. With out choice or freedoms. And the ability to feel was defiantly a freedom in his case. He smirked lightly, she was right again. He was dead.

At least he had been.

"You know staring is considered to be rude. But then again you don't know anything about personal boundaries." Her words surprised him mostly because she didn't even look up from her book. As she flipped to the next page, the course paper made a slight echo through the empty library. Well, almost empty. There were students here and there but as usual she was held up in the back of the library. Hiding from any distractions.

"Didn't think you would notice with your nose stuck in that book." He took a few steps forwards and pulled out the chair across from her. He sat down in true Malfoy fashion. Like he owned the place.

"It's a teacher thing." She finally looked up from her book for a quick glare.

"Oh so we are in a joking mood tonight?" He returned the glare with a splash of sarcasm. Sure the girl was driving him crazy and probably changing his world but he was still at liberty to give her a hard time. In fact even irritating her made him feel something. Pleasure.

"Obviously."

"Astonishing, I never though you to be a funny person Granger." She slammed her book shut and smiled brightly. He was sure it was the phoniest smile he had ever seen in his life.

"Oh I'm very funny Malfoy. Really I leave everyone in stitches when I leave the room. In fact I have a joke for you right now." He cocked any eyebrow. "Knock knock."

"Who's there?" He said slowly.

"Go away Malfoy." She raised her voice slightly and her smile was gone.

"Go away Malfoy who?" From the look on her face he was pretty sure she would have slapped him if he had been within arms reach. "And what am I doing to drive you so crazy Granger. I'm just making small talk."

"Oh please your so cocky Malfoy. What makes you think you're staring had any effect on me?" He smiled at her.

"Well a few things. Wear should I start. First off you're blushing. Secondly you're making jokes something you never do. And for good reason too because you're not that funny. Thirdly..." She rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Okay. I get it. So what do you want Malfoy."

"A pony."

"If you make one more smart ass comment I swear I will turn you into the useless cockroach you are."

"Fine. I want to talk to you. Actually I need to talk to you." Her features lightly softened.

"About what?" He knew she had been avoiding it. Talking about all of it. How strange how quickly there conversations turned from banter to complete seriousness.

"You know what." His voice was deep and earnest. His eyes caught her own. Eyes he was beginning to know better then his own.

"What about it." She stared back at him. He could read he emotions like her book. Self-conscious and nervous. Her entire aura was practically screaming her discomfort. But she was being a Gryffindor. She was being brave. And he was being a Slytherin.

"Why?" She looked away quickly as her eyes went downcast towards the ground. Another one of her many habits.

"I don't know" She sighed and looked back up at him. Her eyes always so full of something. "I just did. I can't take it back."

"Would you?" His words made her brain twist and turn.

"Malfoy I don't think I should..."

"It's a simple question Granger. It won't change my view of you either way. I'm just curious." He stood up and walked around the table. His eyes locked with hers the entire time. He knelt down next to her and lightly touched her cheek. It flushed the moment his fingers brushed the smooth skin and he felt chills. "Would you take it back?"

"No." She said it quietly. Weakly.

"Why?" She lightly smiled. One of her truly honest smiles. Small and sweet.

"Because you needed something. How couldn't I see that you needed something real." He smirked. Not the trademark hard cold smirk. The gentle one few knew he possessed. He gently pressed his lips onto hers. The kiss was simple like one you give to someone before they leave for the office. He pulled away and stood.

"See you tomorrow Granger." And he was gone again.

A/N: So there it is.... Here is where I ask you to review.... ::Clears throat:: PLEASE REVIEW!!!! I hope you all are liking this story. Stick with it. Like I said time reveals all. Well I don't actually know who came up with that saying but in this case it is true!!! So PLEASE REVIEW!!!


	4. Chapter Four

Disclaimer: **::I OWN EVERYTHING!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAH!!! I AM RICH!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!::** Wakes up... "Oh hey a penny... cool!!!" (In other words I own nothing!!)

A/N: Hey there all... well I am sick as can be... ::SOB:: well actually just a lil bit of tonsilides!! Yuck! So I have time to write a story cause im not allowed to run around or do anything, and daytime t.v. sucks!! I mean it really really sucks!!! So I have decided to write!! HAHA that's right... I shall write until I can stand no more!!!! So I just wanna take this time to say, **THANK YOU FOR ALL MY REVIEWS!!!** You all really rock my socks!! You make me smile and dance around and sing!! Lol so keep it up!!! I just wanted to say I acidently wrote that Draco was sixteen and not seventeen, I went and fixed that!!!!!!!!! There in there seventh year. They are head boy and girl but they don't share a common room or anything!! I wanted to do something a little bit different!! So any who on with the story!!

**How Couldn't I?**

She had to talk to someone. She couldn't keep acting like everything was normal. Things defiantly weren't normal at all. She had kissed Draco Malfoy. She had initiated it. Wanted it. And the worse part of it all was that she didn't regret it. In fact she had almost enjoyed it. Almost.

And Draco Malfoy had kissed her. He had taken control and kissed her. She hadn't expected this. She had never seen any of this coming. How could she? He was Draco Malfoy for Merlin's sake. A cocky self-centered jerk whose one and only true hate in life was what she was. Muggle born. And she hated him.

Well hate was a strong word. Maybe in there first years at Hogwarts she had hated him. But things had changed. He had changed. Like he had hit his head one summer and comeback different. Slightly warmer then before. Yet he was still cold and cut off.

And she was still afraid of him. And that was the simple truth. She was afraid of him. He was bigger, stronger, more experienced, and something about him was evil. Something about him was dark. She understood, like most of the students and staff at Hogwarts, he was capable of horrible things. He was meant to do horrible things with his life. Several times she had wondered to herself why Dumbledore allowed him to be a student here. Why he allowed this destined-to-be death eater walk the halls with those whom he wanted to harm. And yet Draco had excelled at Hogwarts. He had become head boy and only second to her first. He was handsome and popular with the girls. He was...

He was driving her insane.

He had become an impossible ambiguity. And she figured that's what caused her to think about him so much. She was a logical person. A person who used common sense and knowledge in a world full of magic and the unexplained. A being true to her nature she couldn't walk away from an unsolved problem.

He was an enigma and she was a justification.

She reached the library and looked around. She spotted him. He was sitting at the table she had asked to meet at earlier that day. He looked up at her and smiled.

"Hey Mione what's going on? Why did you ask to meet here during lunch?" She sat down across the table and looked at her best friend. The one person she knew would not scream or freak out. The most understanding person she knew. Harry Potter.

"Hey Harry. Listen I need to talk to you about something. Something big." He smiled at her reassuringly.

"Sure. What's on your mind?" She took a deep breath and sighed.

"Okay first off you have to swear on everything that is good in this world that you wont tell anyone. Not a soul."

"Alright. I swear." She took another deep breath of air.

"IkissedDracoMalfoy." She said the words so fast Harry raised an eyebrow in confusion. After a few seconds she saw it click. He had understood her.

"You kissed Draco Malfoy?" He said the words roughly. As if they were hard to get out. She nodded her head and sank a little bit lower in her chair. "On accident?"

"No."

"On purpose?"

"Yes."

"Once?"

"Well I kissed him once. He kissed me twice."

"So you let him kiss you?"

"Yes."

"Before or after you kissed him?"

"After." He didn't say anything. She could tell he was thinking it through. Contemplating the situation. She sank a little bit lower in her chair. She had been crazy to tell him.

"Alright." He smiled at her warmly and grabbed his books.

"Alright. That's all you have to say is alright?" She sat up straight and stared at him with disbelief.

"Listen Mione were seventeen now. Were not kids running around pointing fingers and wands anymore. I'm not saying I like Malfoy or anything but things change over time. People change over time. So all I can say to you is what I always say to you. Be careful." He walked around the table and patted her shoulder. "You're the smartest person I know." He smiled at her again before walking out of the library.

She stared straight ahead. That hadn't been what she expected. She spent the rest of her lunch in the library thinking everything through. And Harry's last words echoed through her mind. 'You're the smartest person I know.' She was pretty sure, actually she was positive, that there was much more meaning behind the comment.

And men say women are complicated.

He had said to her, 'See you tomorrow Granger.' But the truth was she hadn't seen him all day. Not at breakfast, they didn't have any shared classes today, at lunch she was in the library and dinner she had spent with Harry and Ron in the common room "talking." Harry's idea. Ron hadn't taken the news as well but she knew with time he would calm down. He had a temper but nothing to be worried about. Still his hate for Malfoy was stronger then everyone else's. This much she knew.

She was now wandering the halls on her Head Girl Duties. Her and Malfoy were supposed to do this together every evening but at the beginning of the year they had made a silent pack to avoid each other at all cost. And they did a very good job at it. But tonight she had a feeling things wouldn't be so simple.

"Miss Granger." Hermione jumped at the deep voice. She turned her head and slightly smiled.

"Professor Snape. How can I help you?" She looked at the ever-scowling teacher and tried to force her smile to stick.

"Well Miss Granger I was wondering what you were doing wandering the halls so late at night." She took a small step back. A habit she had when it came to this particular Professor. She wasn't afraid of him. Just slightly intimidated.

"I'm just doing my Head Girl duties Sir." He crossed his arms unsatisfied.

"Then where is the Head Boy. Last time I checked the rules the duties imply both Girl and Boy." He raised an eyebrow. She looked around trying to think.

"Um well you see sir. Malfoy is um, well he is, you see Professor the thing is..."

"The thing is sir I had to speak with my Father. Granger hear offered to being the patrols until I could catch up." Snape shifted the moment Draco mentioned his father. She looked at Draco questioningly. He seemed to come out of the shadows.

"Your father is hear?" Snape questioned. Malfoy smirked slightly.

"He had a meeting with Dumbledore about my being second. He left without incident." Snape seemed to relax. Well as much as Snape could relax Hermione mused.

"Alright then. You two are free to go." She turned on her heel and began to walk away Draco following close behind. She turned the corner and continued walking silently. She tried to ignore the fact that he was only right behind her. Following her and most likely eyeing her every movement and the tension was thicker the mud. They walked for about five minutes in silence before she couldn't take it anymore. She turned on her heal and faced him.

"Why are you following me Malfoy?" He smirked at her.

"It's my duty Granger." She sighed with frustration.

"Listen I think we really need to talk about this situation." He took a step closer and she took a step back. "No no no a least five feet apart at all times." He raised an eyebrow. She crossed her arms and glared at him.

"Fine fine I promise to keep my distance."

"Okay. So I think we should talk about," she paused a few moments before forcing the word out, "us." She wondered how such a small word could be so hard to say. She looked at the ground for a moment awaiting his smart ass comment. When he didn't say anything she looked up at him and was shocked to see only complete seriousness in his eyes.

"There can't be an US Granger." He said the words quietly. In a way that let her know he had though about it. About everything that had happened in the last three days.

"I know." She didn't know what else to say. It was the truth. There couldn't be. For about a billion reasons. Still hearing him say it out loud almost hurt her. She suddenly felt small again. He had a way of making her feel inferior. Not purposely, she hoped.

"So then why are we talking about it?" He began walking past her. Down the hall.

"Where are you going?" She began to follow him. He was walking quickly. Trying to get away from her she figured.

"To do my job." He kept walking no missing a beat.

"But we were having a discussion." She picked up her pace being careful not to trip on her robes. She was looking at her feet and didn't notice he had stopped and turned to face her. She was about to run into him when he reached out and grabbed her shoulders stopping her just inches from a collision.

"Really I wasn't aware." She looked up at him and glared. "Don't look at me like that."

"Like what." She shot back at him.

"Like I'm you enemy or something."

"You are my enemy." He let her go and sneered at her. She was suddenly afraid again. How is it she was able to kiss someone she was afraid of? It was just another useless question she had for him. One she was pretty sure she would never get to ask among others.

"That's right I am." He turned around and began walking away. For the first time he actually seemed seventeen. For the first time she noticed how much he had grown. He was an adult in his own right. Still she could see something else. She saw the insecurities and the rebellion. She saw his scorn for being called that word. Enemy.

"I see you Malfoy." He stopped and didn't look at her. Keeping his shoulders stiff and his voice was harsh.

"You see nothing Granger." She laughed at him. Something she knew he hated.

"No I see everything. I see who you are and what you are. I know what you're going to become Draco, Daddy's pride and joy. Future follower of He-Who-Shall-Remain nameless."

"Not future." He turned around and faced her. His face was stone. He took a step closer to her sneering. "Present follower." She took a step closer to him and gulped.

"And I know I can't change that. I don't think anyone can. But I also know something else about you." She took another step.

"And what's that?" She looked down at the ground and smiled before looking back at him. He made her so afraid but she was also brave when it came to him. Something she wasn't used to in the case of the opposite sex.

"I know that I was to ask you to kiss me right now you wouldn't be able to say no." She smiled at his boldly mimicking his own cocky stance.

"Oh Granger you think yourself irresistible." She put her hands on her hips.

"In your case, yes." He crossed his arms and leaned against the stone wall.

"Well incase you haven't noticed half of the students at this school are female and are willing to do anything for my attention. Actually I think a few of the male students would to. What makes you think I would just answer to your request."

"Because I am something you want. Not your father and not anyone but you." She walked up to him and smirked lightly. "So prove me wrong Malfoy. Kiss me." He stood there for a few moments. Just staring at her. And then he did something.

He proved her right.

A/N: Okay Okay so here you all go!! This chapter was kinda a set up for things to come**... ::BUM BUM BUM:: **Hey what was that noise? Anyways please review!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!! I hope you all liked it!!!! Tata for now!!!


	5. Chapter Five

Disclaimer: ::I OWN EVERYTHING!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAH!!! I AM RICH!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!:: Wakes up... oh hey a penny... cool!!! (In other words I own nothing!!)

A/N: Alright well here is chapter five. So VERY sorry for the long de-lay. Serious writers block with this story line. I just could not seem to get my point down on the page. Very frustrating and several deleted versions of this chapter. About three times I got to page three or so and was like… blah I don't like it… re-start! But I got my music and everything going right finally and spit this out of my brain… on with the show!

**How Couldn't I?**

_"Oh you're a beautiful_

_A beautiful fucked up man_

_You're setting up your razor wire shrine"- Sarah Mclahlan's Building a Mystery_

"Don't you think so?" Ginny noticed her friend staring off into space. "Hermione." The brown hair girl lightly jumped and focused her attention back towards the smaller red head.

"Huh? What?" The smaller girl furrowed her brow slightly before speaking.

"I said don't you think Luna and Ron have a very _special_ friendship." Hermione noticed her friend wink. She looked towards the other red head at the table. The color in his cheeks matching his hair to a tee. She slightly smiled.

"Oh yes. _Very special_ indeed." Hermione replayed. Ginny smiled at her and turned her attention back towards Dean Thomas who didn't seem to think so. Hermione began to once again pick at her dinner. She wasn't very hungry. Her mind was else wear. Mostly, focused on the blond haired Slytherin sitting in front of her. His back towards her sitting at his own houses table in the Great Hall. She was trying desperately not to stare. It didn't help that every few moments Ginny would try to drag her back into the conversation or rather argument she was having with Dean. It caused her to look across the table and become aware of the nuisance. And he was annoying her to no end at this moment.

He was sitting there with Crabbe and Goyle. Acting immature and disgusting. Ever few moments or so Pansy would gently squeeze his shoulder and Hermione had to keep herself from hexing the girl right then and there. Funny, Hermione had never seen herself as the jealous type but at this very moment she knew better. In fact a she was thinking of several humorous nicknames for the girl in her mind, causing a small smirk to spread across her face. 'Trashy Pansy, Drafty Pansy, ha ha good one,-um- hell just Pansy.' Her thoughts suddenly stopped when she saw the girl lean forward and whisper something into Draco's ear. Harry seemed to also notice this flirtation, rather he noticed Hermione's eyes widening to the size of a snitch. He quickly reached out and shook her shoulder causing her to turn towards him. She looked at the dark haired boy sitting next to her who was giving her a re-assuring look. After a few moments Harry smiled at her.

"No charge to Park-in-son." Hermione's smile spread before she outright laughed at her friends comment. Harry joined her and after there laughs died down she leaned forward and gave her best friend a hug.

"Thanks." She whispered. He pulled away and smiled at her.

"Anytime." He smiled back.

"What's so funny Harry?" Ginny said curiously. Both Harry and Hermione looked at her for a moment before they erupted into another outburst of laughter.

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Hermione slowly walked towards the library. Enjoying the quiet of the halls. Something she so rarely encountered at school. Yet she found herself wandering the quiet halls late at night more often lately. She knew why and she didn't pretend not to. Draco Malfoy had become an aspect of her life in several different ways in the last few weeks. Both accepting that there was much more to the relationship then hate. Both finding comfort in the other and an unspeakable understanding. Still, she couldn't believe that the one person she found herself comfortable with was someone she was supposed to hate. Even more so for him, she figured. She hadn't been breed to despise him, yet he was for some unknown reason fighting everything he had been taught. Even if he didn't love her, hell even like her, for him to kiss a muggle-born was nothing short of extraordinary.

"Ms. Granger." She turned to face the owner of the voice. Her heart speeding up as she did so. The look in his eyes somehow different.

"Yes Professor Snape?" she cautiously questioned. He looked her up and down a few times before the harshness of his features lightened. For the first time in her life she saw him without a sour expression on his face. She had the urge to take a picture knowing Ron and Harry would never believe her. No his look was not sour but, worried.

"Will you please step into my office for a brief moment? I must talk to you about something." She glanced around the hallway before nodding slightly. She wordlessly walked into the dark office and sat down in on of the large arm chairs. He followed suit and sat behind a rather large wooden desk cluttered with papers and quills. Her mind was racing and after a few moments she spoke.

"Did I fail the last paper Sir?" She barely was able to squeak out the question. She knew she should have added the other ten paragraphs she had written. This is what she got for listening to Ron and his rambling about overachieving. Snape smirked at her.

"No Ms. Granger your paper was sufficient enough to earn you yet another perfect mark." She let out a huge sigh and fell back into the chair.

"Oh thank God." She said earnestly. She knew Snape had never understood her need to perform perfectly and he seemed a bit surprised at her relief. After a second her mind snapped back and she sat up straight again. "Then what is it you need to speak with me about Sir?"

"About the new developments between you and your relationship with Mr. Malfoy." He stated knowingly. She stared at the man shocked. Her mouth slightly hanging open and the urge to run out of the room now stronger then ever.

"Um-what relationship is that Sir?" She said as innocently as she could muster. Yet even she heard the lie in her voice.

"Ms. Granger I will have you know the looks yourself and Mr. Malfoy have exchanged during my lessons are not only obvious but pathetic. Furthermore I have seen the lack of confrontation between the two of you completely disappear all together." She felt her cheeks slightly flush at his words. After a pause he continued. "I will have to ask whatever developing feelings you have for the boy to stop."

"What?" she didn't mean to say it out loud but it was her first reaction. Snape seemed, possibly for the first time, sincere with his next words.

"Ms. Granger you are one of the brightest witches I have ever seen." She almost fell out of her chair at this comment. She could have hugged him. "Therefore I feel I am able to trust you with this information. I have spoken to Headmaster Dumbledore and he agrees with me. Ms. Granger at the end of this year, when you finally graduate from Hogwarts, Draco with follow in his fathers footsteps. He with receive the Death Eater's mark and become a villain. It is in your best interest to stay away from him." He sat forward and rested his elbows on his desk. "Dumbledore knows it, I know it, and most of the wizardry world knows it. And know you know it." She felt her heart sinking.

"But, but if you know this then why do you allow him to excel at the school? Why make him head boy?" She questioned. A flash of guilt washed over Snape's face.

"That is my doing. For a long time I though Draco would see the truth but his father's brain washing was not to be undone. Ms. Granger you must end the relationship, you are very smart and I know you understand." And deep down in her heart she did. There was not getting around it, Draco was a bad guy. She knew it was a pointless fling and she finally had reason to end it. Finally had someone telling her no. She nodded in compliance to request before standing and leaving the room. She reached the door and turned to face him. She smiled at him.

"Thank you for worrying Professor." The look that fell across his face made her want to smile brightly. Complete and honest discomforted. She closed the door behind her. The moment she stepped into the empty hall her smile faded. She was supposed to meet Draco in the library. She looked in the direction of the library for a few moments. Her body screaming at her to go to him but her head telling her otherwise. She deeply sighed before turning on her heel and heading back to the Gryffindor common room. Ignoring the nagging feeling in her heart, listening to her brain. He _WAS_ a bad person. She couldn't change him.

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The next morning she walked with her two best friends into the Great Hall her eyes automatically searching for a blond hairier boy only to find him not yet there. She felt a sudden wave of relief as she sat in her usual spot across from Ginny, smiling at the younger girl.

"Morning Hermione." She said brightly.

"Morning Ginny. Are you ready for you potions test?" The red head looked somewhat unsure.

"I think so. Your note cards really helped. Thanks." Hermione was about to tell Ginny that she had another stack she could review but was distracted when her eyes met a pair of pale eyes. Eyes she somehow knew so well. He was glaring at her, a cold glare that made her feel guilty. She would never say it out loud but it almost had a hint of hurt in it. Almost.

She looked away from him and turned her attention towards Seamus who was asking for special permission about something or other. Being Head Girl had not gone to Hermione's head, just her friends. She rolled her eyes at the boy who knew it was Hermione's way of saying, drop it. She looked towards the Slytherin table again and almost dropped her juice. Draco was not sitting with his back to her but facing her. Staring straight at her making her feel self conscious. His eyes so unreadable. She was going to look away when she suddenly felt brave and glared back at the boy. And that's how they stayed. Glaring at another, no one noticing but them. While they glared Dumbledore gave Snape a knowing look. Snape nodded in agreement.

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"Tisk tisk Granger." She looked up from her book. She had come to the library telling herself to study, but she knew the real reason. After three meals in the great hall of staring she had to talk to him. Lie to him about what was going on. He was connected with Voldemort and Hermione knew she couldn't let Snape's name be dropped what-so-ever. His life most likely depended on it.

"Tisk tisk what Malfoy?" She decided to be defensive instead of sweet.

"You left me all alone here last night. We had an arrangement I though." He was leaning against a bookshelf with his arms crossed. She turned her eyes back to her book.

"I have decided to no longer continue this-well whatever it is I'm an stopping it." She turned the page and continued reading. Her voice blank and casual.

"Oh have you Granger?" He questioned coolly.

"Yup." She looked up and smirked at him. Closing her book she stood to leave. Quickly. "So night then Malfoy." She walked past him but before she could make a clean escape his hand flew up against the other bookshelf blocking her in. She looked at him and rolled his eyes. "May I help you?" He glared at her.

"Well you can start by dropping the act Granger." And at that moment her senses complied with his orders. Her confidence slid out of her body and onto the floor. "What's going on? Two weeks ago you wouldn't let me walk away from this and now you get to give up?" He face was so very close to her own. She looked around the empty library and sucked in a breath.

"This has to end Draco." Her eyes suddenly burned. NO! she told herself. She would not cry.

"No it doesn't" he shot back quickly.

"Yes, yes it does. Draco we are on different sides." Her gaze reached his eyes and she wanted so badly to kiss him at that moment. To tell him it didn't matter. But it did matter. "You don't understand Draco. I have to go." She turned forward and tried pushing his arm away. In an instant his lips was hovering right above her ear. She could feel him smelling her hair lightly.

"I see you Granger." She closed her eyes as he said the words. Knowing he was right.

"You see nothing Malfoy." He lightly kissed her ear.

"I see everything. How couldn't I see you Granger?" His hand fell from the book case and turned her face towards his own. "I see you every wear in everything and you don't get to end this." She opened her mouth to fight back but was only met with his lips on her own. His tongue forcing entrance. She light moaned as he advanced his hands tangling in her hair. Her petite frame be pulled closer to his own. And it was her turn to have all though leave her mind.

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In Dumbeldore's office two men sat drinking a dark tea. Snape looked at the Headmaster and spoke quietly.

"What if, Maybe Dumbledore." The elder man looked at him and sighed.

"Maybe. It might work."

A/N: Alright review please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	6. Chapter Six

Disclaimer: Well I own nothing. Shucks…. I really want a new car to… L

A/N: I suck… my updates have been taking forever…. You may all kill me… I give you permission…. Please I deserve it… when the summer comes it will be back to normal, I like most fanfic author slow down with school… sorry guys it's a lot!

**How Couldn't I? **

"Will you be there?" His lips lightly brushed against her again. She smiled into his kiss as he pulled away. His swollen lips moist, there breathing rapid.

"I'll be there at six." She turned in the darkness towards the door. Her hand reaching for the knob. Before she could turn the cold handle his hand grabbed his shoulder and spun her around. His lips collided with her catching her off guard. His hands grabbed her neck pulling her closer. She responded after a moment by sliding her hands up his chest and pushing him away. He growled in protest.

"You don't have to study, classes are over for the weekend Granger." She smirked in the darkness.

"I though my lessons we only begging Mr. Malfoy." Before he could respond she was out the door. And Draco Malfoy was left only wanting more. He stood there a few moments before exiting the broom closet himself. Making sure no one would see them leave together. Making sure no one would get any ideas. He strode down the hallway towards his own house common room trying to think of something to do for the next three hours. As he made his way towards the dungeons he felt a cold chill run up his spin. His heart beating in his chest. He was being watched.

He walked on a second slower anticipating the attack. With his hand on his wand he felt a warm rush of air at his side. He quickly stepped out of the way avoiding the attack.. The tall figure brushed pasted him and a evil laugh filled the hall. Draco hated that laugh. Ever since he was a child his father laughing only meant one thing, something bad was about to happen. And even though Draco knew the man with silver blond hair closely his hand still stayed on his wand. His father smirked.

"Good job. Always keeping an eye out." He smoothed his hair back slickly and walked towards his son. "I trust you were coming back from the library. Hard at work no doubt." Draco nodded slightly before taking a chance.

"How did you get in?" The mans eyes squinted.

"I have my secrets Draco, you know that." Draco looked towards the ground. He felt his father arm wrap around his shoulder. He had the urge to flinch but held back. "Your time to learn them will come soon." At this his eyes lifted from the ground and meet a similar pair.

"You mean…? When?" The gleam in his fathers eyes suddenly made him feel sick.

"Soon enough. I came to tell you any day now." The man read the confusion on his sons face. "I know we talked about the summer time but things are changing and we need you all ready to fight." Draco was about to respond when he felt a slight tingle on his forearm. His father grabbed the spot on his own and winced. Draco made no attempts to help, he was being called to him. The two men looked at another for a moment before the elder was walking down the hall. And gone.

Again.

Suddenly Draco Malfoy had the urge to run away from his common room. He turned and headed towards the library. He had promised not to go, but his common room seemed much colder now then ever before. And a pair of warm brown eyes were suddenly fire.

She was sitting there. Absentmindedly twisting her mouth and scrunching her nose as she read. Her eyes concentrated and her mind sucked into the large book with black binding. He was quiet for a long time. Watching her flip the pages and glide through the lines. Her eyes darting back and forth quickly. He moved stealthy and slid into the seat across from her. Enjoying the silence. She flipped another page and her eyes seemed to wander. After a second they looked at his and she furrowed her brow.

"You promised." she scolded.

"I'm a liar." He retorted coolly. "Besides I'm not making a sound." She put the book down and glared.

"I can't read while your staring at me Malfoy, its, well it feels weird." She protested. Her voice dropping. "Anyway, people can see." He turned his head and glanced around the deserted library.

"Actually Granger you're the only person studying on a Friday night. Everyone else is to busy being normal." He put he elbows on the table and rested his head in his hands.

"Malfoy I told you I have to study." She picked her book back up began to read. He didn't move. His eyes focused on her. After a moment she let out a frustrated sigh. She put the book back down and smirked. "Fine you have my full attention." Her opened his mouth to speak when she put a hand up. "Ten minutes." He raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"Is that an order?" He asked casually.

"Not an order. A simple suggestion if you want to see tomorrow." She retorted.

"Would that be so bad Granger?" His voice was small. She gave him a curious glance.

"What do you mean?"

"To never see tomorrow. To stay in this library forever. Just me and you, and nothing else. No war, no Potter, and no…" His voice trailed off.

"No what Malfoy?" she asked quietly.

"No choices." He answered. She looked him up and down and glared at him.

"What are you talking about Malfoy I swear sometimes…"

"I'm going to become one of them." He blurted it out. Not to tell her his sad story but to shut her up. It worked too. Her mouth sat slightly apart and she searched him curiously. The silence in the air but he knew she understood. She always seemed to understand. Seemed to see the truth behind him. She pushed the book aside and reached for his hands. Like a small child asking for a toy. He complied and entwined his fingers in her own. The soft petite hands fitting into tough large ones.

"Do you have to?" It was barely a squeak. He looked at her for a long time. And for the first time in his lonely life he felt sorry, truly sorry for all the things he had done wrong, but more then anything he felt sorry for the things he was going to do.

"I have to Granger. How couldn't I? They would kill me otherwise." She closed her eyes as he spoke, as if it pained her to even hear it.

"When?" her voice was small.

"Soon. A few weeks. Possibly days." He answered truthfully.

"It's not fair Malfoy. It's, it's evil, dark." Her voiced raised slightly.

"I'm a bad person Granger." She pulled her hand away from his and sat up straight. Trying to seem bigger.

"Stop saying that." She shot at him. "You only think you are."

"I am Granger. I've done things, seen things." he reached for her hands again but she pulled them even closer to herself.

"We can't Draco, if you, I mean I, how?" he looked her up and down and smirked.

"Your right." Her eyes met his. His voice was low and cold. "It stops Granger, it will only get harder." She stood up and started shoving her papers into her school bag. He followed suite and walked around the table. "Granger listen."

"No. I'm such a fool." She pushed another book in.

"Granger would you stop." He heard her choke back a cry. Her hands frantically trying to tie a knot. He reached down and grabbed her hands. They we shaking. "Hermione."

"How dare you. How dare they." she whispered. Her eyes staring at there hands.

"You shouldn't care so much." he said quietly. "Stop caring about me." She looked up and her teary eyes made his heart break slightly. No one, not a single person had ever looked at him with so much heart, desperation or feeling.

"How couldn't I Draco. Its different now." He searched her face for a long time before kissing her forehead and pulling her into a tight hug. She wrapped her small arms around his neck and squeezed back. "We have to, don't we? We have to end it." He sighed deeply and kissed her shoulder.

"Not today," he paused and kissed her again. "Will try again tomorrow."

"What do you mean tomorrow?" She said into his neck.

"We will have this fight again tomorrow, and maybe I can say something and hurt you, and you will hate me." She lightly laughed at his words.

"I already hate you Malfoy." she said lightly.

"I think that's the problem Granger." He kissed her forehead again and put his chin on the top of her head, inhaling the smell of her hair. She laughed at his actions.

"Are you smelling my hair Malfoy?" She questioned.

"No." he answered.

"Liar."

"Yup." she pulled away after a few minutes and smirked. "Well now that your done studying, time for me right?" She glared at him.

"I am nowhere close to being done studying." He looked around the table and raised his eyebrows.

"Your books are put away. You bag is packed, that looks like the bell has rung and schools out." He leaned forward to kiss her lips. She pulled back.

"Awe looks like ten minutes is up." She wiggled out of his arms and smirked. "Bye." She sat back down and began pulling out her books.

"Bye." He said back as he walked out of the library. He knew one thing for sure, if she was going to study, she was going study. No matter what he pulled. He turned around and faced her again. "Six o'clock still?" She looked at him and rolled her eyes.

"Six ten Malfoy." She answered before looking back down at her book.

"Dictator." He whispered.

"I try." She shot back. And with that he headed out towards his common room once again.

A/N: Hope you all liked it… please review! PLEASE!


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